Question:
The 12 cards are a token of the year I have just lived through. What are the influences on my life?
1. Who Am I? Sword Queen
A shock this one. I would have said the Sword aspects such as biting honesty and even cruel directness are qualities I lack. But the cards say that in the last 12 months, this is me. Definitely a card starred for further analysis.
2. The Way I've Handled My Resources. Spear 2
In this Spear 2, the path is open, leading me on. Travel and movement are suggested (journey to India?). Setting tasks I can reasonably achieve and confidence in my own resources.
3. The Kind Of Choices I've Made. Sword Knight
Again Swords! The Sword Knight is ready to uphold truth and justice - to the death if necessary. I feel pleased to see this card in this position, but I'm not sure why yet.
4. The Influence Of My Home Life / Environment. Guinevere
The Lady Guinevere - nature's beautiful bounty. The land and living directly on it has been a massive influence - mostly for positive but also tucked away on the quinta does shield me from the bigger picture.
5. The Way I've Expressed Myself. Spiral Tower
I dreamt of this Tower last night and the 12 signs of the zodiac swirled before my eyes. This Tower allows some free will in implementing change. Although the sharp shock is implied by the lightening strike, as with other Towers - the Owl Woman is my Guardian Angel. I have nothing to fear here. But as the way I've expressed myself? Suggests maybe humbleness. Need to examine the link between this card and Grail 7 as the book suggests and also study this card with the Cosmic Tribe deck.
6. The Way I've Worked. Stone 9
In nature, with the animals. Grounded. Connected with trees. All have their place. Sacred stones and symbols. The book meaning is very interesting:
Shows the culmination of the work of the winter Stone court. Depicts the supporters of that work, the hidden helpers and totemic beings who accompany our solitary moments. Represents the empowerment of the path which brings the seeker to interior quiet and natural ease - the fulfilment of the long hard struggle. Experienced in the enjoyment that can come from retirement from employment; but for the student of the path there is no such thing as retirement, only periods of refreshment which deeply nourish and sustain us on our ongoing quest.
So, the way I've worked has been as one in total retirement - now is the time to get back to work.
7. The Kind Of Relationships I've Had. Stone 8
This suggests the relationship with the Craft. My occupation has been on developing those skills needed on the path. How does this manifest in relationships with people? Maybe a question to pose on a tarot forum.
8. The Legacies I've Reaped From Actions Committed Before This Year. Grail Hallow
Cup overflowest with healing waters. I think immediately of meeting the shaman at Boom, Aug. 2006. She told me I need to connect deeply with water to heal. She said many tears still had to be shed to release what I have been holding onto all my life. I see this Ace as a great gift of healing emotional wounds.
9. How I've Related To Spiritual, Legal Or Philosophical Frameworks. Stone Hallow
Another Ace up my sleeve. This one I understand less clearly. Best summed up in "The black squares bring me trials, the white squares bring me realisations." Wisdom, knowledge, tradition. Fear of insecurity and loss of worth.
10. How I've Responded To Society. The Sun
Innocently, naively, openly, directly, not hidden.
11. How My Aspirations Have Been Reflected In The World. Spear 3
I travel the land as if I own the right to do so, secure in the knowledge that I have protection and my way is blessed. Open to ideas and opportunities. The searching questions Spear 3 asks in the book are worth answering again.
12. The Part Of Myself Of Which I've Been Unaware. Spear Knight
Nice to see a person as an answer here - for once, thanks go to the Courts for appearing in appropriate positions. I see straight away this aspect is the aggression and fiery anger I expressed to everyone's surprise a month ago. Quite destructive too. Need to bring this character into the light and examine what it means for me.
Sunday 14 October 2007
Wednesday 8 August 2007
Pairs exercise - Sword King and Spear Three
Sword King had come up in a reading last weekend - telling me some unpleasant home truths actually. Today, he was a little kinder in this pairing with Spear Three:
The Arthurian Sword King sits on his stone throne on top of a green hill, from where he can survey his lands. The hill is where petitioners bring their pleas for justice. He wears a lilac robe and blue cloak, fringed with gold. The unusual silver crown on his head forms an up-pointing triangle like the divine masculine principle. The Sword King looks directly out of the card and holds up the sword, with its' hilt centred in his hara. His face is stern but not severe. He has very fair long hair, beard and moustache. He appears completely focussed.
The highly polished sword acts as a mirror to the petitioner, reflecting back the sometimes uncomfortable truth. With the blade close to his ear, Sword King hears its' song. This is the song of the Earth itself, as the King upholds the justice of the Goddess of the Land. He will speak his mind in the most direct manner but only in service to the needs of the Goddess. He is not vindictive; rather caring actually but in a pragmatic and direct way.
Rather than waste his words today, he instead leads me to Spear Three, where a broad pathway, indicated by a spear placed at its' start, leads beneath the beech woods. Sunlight filters through the tree canopy high above - there is nothing to fear here. This path is easy, clearly defined and safe. To walk this way in mindful meditation would allow the mind, untroubled by wordly burdons, to find the creative spark that sets us off in new, inspired directions.
What the Sword King seem to be offering is some practical and kind advice: "Instead of allowing your mental processes to overwhelm you, leading to your request for clarity and justice, get out into nature. Find its' open paths and by walking them discover new, creative answers for yourself. The Goddess sings not only through my sword but in other ways more accessible to you at this time. Listen for her in the whispering of the leaves of tall trees."
The Arthurian Sword King sits on his stone throne on top of a green hill, from where he can survey his lands. The hill is where petitioners bring their pleas for justice. He wears a lilac robe and blue cloak, fringed with gold. The unusual silver crown on his head forms an up-pointing triangle like the divine masculine principle. The Sword King looks directly out of the card and holds up the sword, with its' hilt centred in his hara. His face is stern but not severe. He has very fair long hair, beard and moustache. He appears completely focussed.
The highly polished sword acts as a mirror to the petitioner, reflecting back the sometimes uncomfortable truth. With the blade close to his ear, Sword King hears its' song. This is the song of the Earth itself, as the King upholds the justice of the Goddess of the Land. He will speak his mind in the most direct manner but only in service to the needs of the Goddess. He is not vindictive; rather caring actually but in a pragmatic and direct way.
Rather than waste his words today, he instead leads me to Spear Three, where a broad pathway, indicated by a spear placed at its' start, leads beneath the beech woods. Sunlight filters through the tree canopy high above - there is nothing to fear here. This path is easy, clearly defined and safe. To walk this way in mindful meditation would allow the mind, untroubled by wordly burdons, to find the creative spark that sets us off in new, inspired directions.
What the Sword King seem to be offering is some practical and kind advice: "Instead of allowing your mental processes to overwhelm you, leading to your request for clarity and justice, get out into nature. Find its' open paths and by walking them discover new, creative answers for yourself. The Goddess sings not only through my sword but in other ways more accessible to you at this time. Listen for her in the whispering of the leaves of tall trees."
Monday 6 August 2007
Sovereignty meditation - Lesson 22
I've always found Sovereignty one of the more difficult cards in the Arthurian Tarot. I've tried unsuccessfully before to get into the meditation for this card, but on Sunday night, for some reason, it was easy.
I sat before Lady Sovereignty in her fine red robes and she offered me a cup which contained white liquid. I saw a young girl running into the labyrinth. This is what she said:
I like to write in pink for a girl's healing heart. I like to play in the maze. The lady says I must pick up any stones I move and put them back. She says that because I have walked the maze 9 times, now I must walk it 3x9 times and then I can claim the 3 moon crystals from the centre and I can put the maze questions in my book. Lady Sovereignty will accept my answers.
I identified with the little girl. She was reminding me how to play and not to take myself too seriously. The labyrinth is fun and walking it is an easy way to meditate. I did the walk 27 times as suggested - nearly giving up when I felt a little boredom creep in. Then I remembered how the little girl was laughing, running and skipping - she was not bored and so I kept on. Sovereignty's "gift" was three-fold: first, to collect the 3 crystals I'd left in the centre of the maze. These were beautifully charged up and I realised that they would neatly represent the moon in her 3-phases; girl, woman and crone. Secondly, she accepted the answers I had given to the labyrinth meditation at new moon - of course, she will hold me to them! Thirdly, she gave me a clear visualisation.
The visualisation was a little uncomfortable as Sovereignty showed me how the state of this quinta is a clear reflection of the state of me (Feng Shui in practice). For example, the vegetable patch where all my early efforts are now withering in the heat of summer is like the projects I have started and not nurtured through to completion. There was much more like this, but it shames me to write it publicly. In other words, Sovereignty gave me a wake-up call and dished out some rough Justice.
I sat before Lady Sovereignty in her fine red robes and she offered me a cup which contained white liquid. I saw a young girl running into the labyrinth. This is what she said:
I like to write in pink for a girl's healing heart. I like to play in the maze. The lady says I must pick up any stones I move and put them back. She says that because I have walked the maze 9 times, now I must walk it 3x9 times and then I can claim the 3 moon crystals from the centre and I can put the maze questions in my book. Lady Sovereignty will accept my answers.
I identified with the little girl. She was reminding me how to play and not to take myself too seriously. The labyrinth is fun and walking it is an easy way to meditate. I did the walk 27 times as suggested - nearly giving up when I felt a little boredom creep in. Then I remembered how the little girl was laughing, running and skipping - she was not bored and so I kept on. Sovereignty's "gift" was three-fold: first, to collect the 3 crystals I'd left in the centre of the maze. These were beautifully charged up and I realised that they would neatly represent the moon in her 3-phases; girl, woman and crone. Secondly, she accepted the answers I had given to the labyrinth meditation at new moon - of course, she will hold me to them! Thirdly, she gave me a clear visualisation.
The visualisation was a little uncomfortable as Sovereignty showed me how the state of this quinta is a clear reflection of the state of me (Feng Shui in practice). For example, the vegetable patch where all my early efforts are now withering in the heat of summer is like the projects I have started and not nurtured through to completion. There was much more like this, but it shames me to write it publicly. In other words, Sovereignty gave me a wake-up call and dished out some rough Justice.
Sunday 15 July 2007
Labyrinth - Lesson 27 Arthur
Last night conducted a new moon ritual at the labyrinth I created. This is on the site where we had our giant annual bonfire every November for the last 3years. I felt it needed cleansing and had drawn a pentagram on it before I laid the stones. When I meditated there, I had a powerful connection to the 4 lovely dogs we've lost here, and to all the dogs that have belonged on the quinta at one time or another. I felt great sadness and it was a very healing moment.
I wanted to use the ritual time for 2 purposes. First to consecrate my finished wand (see http://quintanet.blogspot.com/) and secondly to complete Arthur's meditation by walking the labyrinth. As I hadn't had the time or (to be honest) the dedication to create a labyrinth with 7 turns, I had decided I would walk mine 9 times, answering 1 question each time.
I completed the cleansing and dedication of the wand, then my husband loyally stepped in to ask the questions and to hold the tarot. These were the questions, my answers and the card drawn with lwb divinatory meanings:
Arthur: "At this entrance to Sovereignty's maze, how will you uphold my justice?"
Me: "By speaking out where wrong is said or done."
The Moon: "Clear visualisation; generation; cyclic patterns of growth; fertility and increase; fluctuation; dreams and visions; introspection; necessary preparation; fallowness; the seasonal round; the tides of time."
Sun: "The ruler's acts are reflected in the land itself: what kind of weather typifies your actions?"
Me: "The wind that blows sometimes strong and sometimes weak."
Sword Knight: "He is incisive and fearless, prompt to defend the weak and swift to halt injustice; he asserts the idea of right with skill and courage; he is the upholder of the Sword of Light."
Spear King: "The ruler is known for great generosity; what gift do you give to all impartially?"
Me: "The gift of patient understanding."
Grail Five: "Disillusion; disappointment; vain regret; the ability to learn from mistakes and assess one's limitations; broken agreements or promises."
Green Knight: "The ruler maintains the boundaries; how will you defend your land?"
Me: "With the protection and empowerment of my magickal tools."
Sovereignty: "Justice; equity; rightful rule; vindication of integrity; perception of motives; fair exchange; honest relationships; good measure; balanced reaction."
Spear Queen: "The ruler shows compassion to the unfortunate; how will you relieve distress?"
Me: "By listening to their pleas and acting where I am empowered."
Stone Queen: "She is noble and practical; she understands the relationship of all life to the land; she imparts a sense of nurture and security to all who encounter her."
Prydwen: "The ruler looks for a cure for the land's sickness; what disease currently afflicts your land?"
Me: "Fear."
Grail Hallow: "Fertility; abundance; nurture; spiritual joy; healing; gladness; the emotional faculty; restoration after barrenness."
Spear Knight: "The ruler maintains the land's honour; how are you attuned to the honour of your land?"
Me: "By respecting the ancestors and their tales."
Grail Nine: "Satisfaction, one's heart's desire; security; physical pleasure; emotional contentment."
Spear Maiden: "The ruler maintains truth in all things; what is the root of your own integrity?"
Me: "My upbringing."
Grail Ten: "Wholeness; perfection of contentment; fellowship and family; the holiness of the home; peace and happiness; the completion of desire shared by others."
Sovereignty: "At the centre of my maze, I ask you, what oath will you make to be worthy of the Spear?"
Me: "I swear to be a faithful student and will leave no stone unturned on my journey to my Self."
Grail Queen: "She is intuitive and sympathetic, her compassionate nature embraces all; she imparts the gifts of love to all who encounter her; the depth of her emotion marks her as the upholder of the Grail."
Five Grails in the reading!! Could this be to do with the new moon in cancer and processing all that old emotional baggage?
Arthur's gift? Well, that's a strange one. I'd completely forgotten until this morning, when I went to bury the remains of the ritual candle in the centre of the labyrinth. I found there a bend, rusty nail. I wouldn't have taken any notice normally, were it not that I was reading about witches' bottles yesterday. These were protective amulets, created by the witch to protect her home from negative influence. They contained all manner of strange objects, including bent, rusty nails. Hmm, looks like my next creative project!
I wanted to use the ritual time for 2 purposes. First to consecrate my finished wand (see http://quintanet.blogspot.com/) and secondly to complete Arthur's meditation by walking the labyrinth. As I hadn't had the time or (to be honest) the dedication to create a labyrinth with 7 turns, I had decided I would walk mine 9 times, answering 1 question each time.
I completed the cleansing and dedication of the wand, then my husband loyally stepped in to ask the questions and to hold the tarot. These were the questions, my answers and the card drawn with lwb divinatory meanings:
Arthur: "At this entrance to Sovereignty's maze, how will you uphold my justice?"
Me: "By speaking out where wrong is said or done."
The Moon: "Clear visualisation; generation; cyclic patterns of growth; fertility and increase; fluctuation; dreams and visions; introspection; necessary preparation; fallowness; the seasonal round; the tides of time."
Sun: "The ruler's acts are reflected in the land itself: what kind of weather typifies your actions?"
Me: "The wind that blows sometimes strong and sometimes weak."
Sword Knight: "He is incisive and fearless, prompt to defend the weak and swift to halt injustice; he asserts the idea of right with skill and courage; he is the upholder of the Sword of Light."
Spear King: "The ruler is known for great generosity; what gift do you give to all impartially?"
Me: "The gift of patient understanding."
Grail Five: "Disillusion; disappointment; vain regret; the ability to learn from mistakes and assess one's limitations; broken agreements or promises."
Green Knight: "The ruler maintains the boundaries; how will you defend your land?"
Me: "With the protection and empowerment of my magickal tools."
Sovereignty: "Justice; equity; rightful rule; vindication of integrity; perception of motives; fair exchange; honest relationships; good measure; balanced reaction."
Spear Queen: "The ruler shows compassion to the unfortunate; how will you relieve distress?"
Me: "By listening to their pleas and acting where I am empowered."
Stone Queen: "She is noble and practical; she understands the relationship of all life to the land; she imparts a sense of nurture and security to all who encounter her."
Prydwen: "The ruler looks for a cure for the land's sickness; what disease currently afflicts your land?"
Me: "Fear."
Grail Hallow: "Fertility; abundance; nurture; spiritual joy; healing; gladness; the emotional faculty; restoration after barrenness."
Spear Knight: "The ruler maintains the land's honour; how are you attuned to the honour of your land?"
Me: "By respecting the ancestors and their tales."
Grail Nine: "Satisfaction, one's heart's desire; security; physical pleasure; emotional contentment."
Spear Maiden: "The ruler maintains truth in all things; what is the root of your own integrity?"
Me: "My upbringing."
Grail Ten: "Wholeness; perfection of contentment; fellowship and family; the holiness of the home; peace and happiness; the completion of desire shared by others."
Sovereignty: "At the centre of my maze, I ask you, what oath will you make to be worthy of the Spear?"
Me: "I swear to be a faithful student and will leave no stone unturned on my journey to my Self."
Grail Queen: "She is intuitive and sympathetic, her compassionate nature embraces all; she imparts the gifts of love to all who encounter her; the depth of her emotion marks her as the upholder of the Grail."
Five Grails in the reading!! Could this be to do with the new moon in cancer and processing all that old emotional baggage?
Arthur's gift? Well, that's a strange one. I'd completely forgotten until this morning, when I went to bury the remains of the ritual candle in the centre of the labyrinth. I found there a bend, rusty nail. I wouldn't have taken any notice normally, were it not that I was reading about witches' bottles yesterday. These were protective amulets, created by the witch to protect her home from negative influence. They contained all manner of strange objects, including bent, rusty nails. Hmm, looks like my next creative project!
Wednesday 4 July 2007
Spear King meditation 3rd July
At Full Moon on Saturday I drew Spear King when I asked what card I should be studying next. Last night, very late, I felt ready to do the meditation for Lesson 25. This is what I wrote:
What if one has a talent, say for writing, all be it amateur, first steps; and one doesn't bother to write. It would be a sin wouldn't it? Each of us have our Gods' given gifts; individual talents that we must make use of in order to honour the sacred. Once I stop to judge my writing I feel that I am not writing anything worthwhile and I want to stop. I feel the internal critic at work. But then I hear the voice of Louis Armstrong reminding me "You have all the time in the world.".
So, now I am refocusing on the Spear King. I arrive at his forge. I think I have been in a smithy before but the memory is vague. I can remeber an outdoor demonstration at Newbury Show, but somewhere there is an older, deeper memory. A dark, dank building - hard to adjust my eyes to the contrast between the darkness of the room and the brightness of the light from the sparks of the forge. He is there - a huge, musculed man with black, sooted arms. The biceps are pronounced on his forearms as he strikes metal to metal. Absorbed in his work; necessarily focused because it is hard and dangerous. He tells me it is man's work in a forge but I may help him as apprentice housemaid. He knows I can cook but ignores that I am hopeless at cleaning. He says anyone can do it if they practice humility. All work is an act of service if performed mindfully, he says. And I am unable to ignore the large pentagram chalked on the smithy's straw-strewn floor. "For protection" he explains. He knows what I have been dabbling in, untrained. He knows that I bring a pure heart as far as working with the Craft. He knows I am also apprentice to Merlin. He tells me that I have his approval for the completely intuitive way I work; provided I take simple precautions such as drawing a pentagram around me before I take on any magickal work. "It is simple common-sense that you follow this well-tried tradition. Witches don't do this for no reason - for show. It is improtant to maintain your place in the light and to keep away from you those who may wish to draw you into the shadows."
I busy myself sweeping up the straw, feeding his animals and making him tea. He seems satisfied as I have been working cheerfully. "Nothing a man hates more than a miseable woman about the place. All you need to do is focus on the moment to be able to love whatever you must do."
As I finish my chores and put away the tools, I hum cheerfully knowing that I have the male support I need. Like a father figure in the best of ways - one who gives strong guidance and support - one who will scold and praise as needed - one who will always tell me what I need, to get off my ass and achieve something worthwhile.
I see that the Spear King has fashioned me a metal pentagram. It is sold and heavy, yet small enought to hold in my left hand. It stands balanced and upright on my palm. It is his gift to me. In return, I offer him the painted glasses I made yesterday, for use as votive lights. He seems to appreciate them.
In my right hand I have a paper to throw into the last embers of the days' fire. On it is written "Please help enlighten my way and guide me with ever stronger focus to change myself. Only through mindful self control (control of self - willed, brain change) can I ever find my true goals and work to implement them." I throw the paper on the embers and watch it curl and burn. The acrid smell of burning paper fills my nostrils. I know I can ask Spear King for help anytime I lose my focus. As I thank him, and move away from the forge, I touch my pocket and remember the little bottle of Centuary Bach Flower Remedy that I have with me. I must take this until the clarity of focus is felt within, I know. I leave the smithy and walk down the hill on the sandy path that leads to the river. The sound of blackbirds calling reminds me of my Fool's journey and of the progress I have made. I feel the presence of my guides from Mabon's Gateway; Spear Knight, Sword Maiden, Grail Queen and King. I know my teachers are there too - Green Knight and Merlin. I recall the lessons of Stone Two, Grail Four and Grail Six, although I have to look up Stone Four, Grail Two and Sword Hallow, so I must have failed to learn the message of their teachings and more work is needed here.
At the river's edge I pick up a large, flat piece of wood that I am confident will float. I set the pentagram on it and put the raft in the flowing current. As I let the current bear my offering into the future, I am confident that the protection of the pentagram will always be with me when I work. I watch the raft until it is gone from sight. Then I walk for miles along the river bank; enjoying the beauty of nature. As I walk, I muse my current situation and the emotional effect it is having on me. I have always found it diffult to "let go" and "move on" as an adult with free will; and I believe this to be due to the number of moves and changes that were forced on me as a child. I forgive myself for my weakness, knowing that a period of grieving is inevitable when one moves from one situation into another; with the loss of something long treasured as the "pay-off" for all the gains from a new situation and challenge.
Whilst I have been pre-occupied with my own thoughts about my own affairs, I have not noticed how far I have progressed. Already I find I have reached the coast. It feels so good to be back to the ocean. How I have missed it. I see that by clinging on to the quinta and all the things I love about that place, I have been denying myself the chance to get back to the seaside. I see that whilst I can't have everything at once - I CAN have everything I want and need - but sequentially. When I let go of one thing, I make room for something else I need. My needs have changed. It is not that I was wrong in my past decisions, but now I must ready myself for new experiences - I must not feel ashamed of letting go of what I no longer need. Sim and I have fulfilled our part here in service of the Goddess of the Land. Now she needs someone else's new energy on this place and has need of us elsewhere. The grieving process must and has been acknowledged. It's the pay-off for putting my head on the Green Knight's block and walking away with it still attached to my body! I took on pets, even though I knew how experiences are impermenant, and how I must walk away from my dear dog and cats. Yet I may trust that their welfare needs will be met - they will have their place in all this too. I can and must do my best for them as I have done so far. I can best take care that their needs are met by taking them into consideration when the quinta is sold.
As I stand on the cliffs, looking out to sea, on the horizon I can already see the pale light of a new dawn approaching. Whilst the new day brings the unknown and triggers my fears, I know that I have great strength and have walked this same path in lives past and future. I see how I am outside time at this point and have the clarity from the Spear Hallow's flaming torchlight to light my way. I need never walk in darkness because I know I have all the support I need to make the changes I must do. Hiding in fear is no longer possible. Fear will find me wherever I try to hide from it. So I must again face my challenges. Whatever goes into the Spear King's forge will be melted, remolded, trasformed and transmuted. The fire is lit and the brew of the Cauldron is heated. Transmutatation and alchemy are already taking place - it cannot be avoided.
Thanks be heard in the heavens for all the blessed guiding strength I have been given.
What if one has a talent, say for writing, all be it amateur, first steps; and one doesn't bother to write. It would be a sin wouldn't it? Each of us have our Gods' given gifts; individual talents that we must make use of in order to honour the sacred. Once I stop to judge my writing I feel that I am not writing anything worthwhile and I want to stop. I feel the internal critic at work. But then I hear the voice of Louis Armstrong reminding me "You have all the time in the world.".
So, now I am refocusing on the Spear King. I arrive at his forge. I think I have been in a smithy before but the memory is vague. I can remeber an outdoor demonstration at Newbury Show, but somewhere there is an older, deeper memory. A dark, dank building - hard to adjust my eyes to the contrast between the darkness of the room and the brightness of the light from the sparks of the forge. He is there - a huge, musculed man with black, sooted arms. The biceps are pronounced on his forearms as he strikes metal to metal. Absorbed in his work; necessarily focused because it is hard and dangerous. He tells me it is man's work in a forge but I may help him as apprentice housemaid. He knows I can cook but ignores that I am hopeless at cleaning. He says anyone can do it if they practice humility. All work is an act of service if performed mindfully, he says. And I am unable to ignore the large pentagram chalked on the smithy's straw-strewn floor. "For protection" he explains. He knows what I have been dabbling in, untrained. He knows that I bring a pure heart as far as working with the Craft. He knows I am also apprentice to Merlin. He tells me that I have his approval for the completely intuitive way I work; provided I take simple precautions such as drawing a pentagram around me before I take on any magickal work. "It is simple common-sense that you follow this well-tried tradition. Witches don't do this for no reason - for show. It is improtant to maintain your place in the light and to keep away from you those who may wish to draw you into the shadows."
I busy myself sweeping up the straw, feeding his animals and making him tea. He seems satisfied as I have been working cheerfully. "Nothing a man hates more than a miseable woman about the place. All you need to do is focus on the moment to be able to love whatever you must do."
As I finish my chores and put away the tools, I hum cheerfully knowing that I have the male support I need. Like a father figure in the best of ways - one who gives strong guidance and support - one who will scold and praise as needed - one who will always tell me what I need, to get off my ass and achieve something worthwhile.
I see that the Spear King has fashioned me a metal pentagram. It is sold and heavy, yet small enought to hold in my left hand. It stands balanced and upright on my palm. It is his gift to me. In return, I offer him the painted glasses I made yesterday, for use as votive lights. He seems to appreciate them.
In my right hand I have a paper to throw into the last embers of the days' fire. On it is written "Please help enlighten my way and guide me with ever stronger focus to change myself. Only through mindful self control (control of self - willed, brain change) can I ever find my true goals and work to implement them." I throw the paper on the embers and watch it curl and burn. The acrid smell of burning paper fills my nostrils. I know I can ask Spear King for help anytime I lose my focus. As I thank him, and move away from the forge, I touch my pocket and remember the little bottle of Centuary Bach Flower Remedy that I have with me. I must take this until the clarity of focus is felt within, I know. I leave the smithy and walk down the hill on the sandy path that leads to the river. The sound of blackbirds calling reminds me of my Fool's journey and of the progress I have made. I feel the presence of my guides from Mabon's Gateway; Spear Knight, Sword Maiden, Grail Queen and King. I know my teachers are there too - Green Knight and Merlin. I recall the lessons of Stone Two, Grail Four and Grail Six, although I have to look up Stone Four, Grail Two and Sword Hallow, so I must have failed to learn the message of their teachings and more work is needed here.
At the river's edge I pick up a large, flat piece of wood that I am confident will float. I set the pentagram on it and put the raft in the flowing current. As I let the current bear my offering into the future, I am confident that the protection of the pentagram will always be with me when I work. I watch the raft until it is gone from sight. Then I walk for miles along the river bank; enjoying the beauty of nature. As I walk, I muse my current situation and the emotional effect it is having on me. I have always found it diffult to "let go" and "move on" as an adult with free will; and I believe this to be due to the number of moves and changes that were forced on me as a child. I forgive myself for my weakness, knowing that a period of grieving is inevitable when one moves from one situation into another; with the loss of something long treasured as the "pay-off" for all the gains from a new situation and challenge.
Whilst I have been pre-occupied with my own thoughts about my own affairs, I have not noticed how far I have progressed. Already I find I have reached the coast. It feels so good to be back to the ocean. How I have missed it. I see that by clinging on to the quinta and all the things I love about that place, I have been denying myself the chance to get back to the seaside. I see that whilst I can't have everything at once - I CAN have everything I want and need - but sequentially. When I let go of one thing, I make room for something else I need. My needs have changed. It is not that I was wrong in my past decisions, but now I must ready myself for new experiences - I must not feel ashamed of letting go of what I no longer need. Sim and I have fulfilled our part here in service of the Goddess of the Land. Now she needs someone else's new energy on this place and has need of us elsewhere. The grieving process must and has been acknowledged. It's the pay-off for putting my head on the Green Knight's block and walking away with it still attached to my body! I took on pets, even though I knew how experiences are impermenant, and how I must walk away from my dear dog and cats. Yet I may trust that their welfare needs will be met - they will have their place in all this too. I can and must do my best for them as I have done so far. I can best take care that their needs are met by taking them into consideration when the quinta is sold.
As I stand on the cliffs, looking out to sea, on the horizon I can already see the pale light of a new dawn approaching. Whilst the new day brings the unknown and triggers my fears, I know that I have great strength and have walked this same path in lives past and future. I see how I am outside time at this point and have the clarity from the Spear Hallow's flaming torchlight to light my way. I need never walk in darkness because I know I have all the support I need to make the changes I must do. Hiding in fear is no longer possible. Fear will find me wherever I try to hide from it. So I must again face my challenges. Whatever goes into the Spear King's forge will be melted, remolded, trasformed and transmuted. The fire is lit and the brew of the Cauldron is heated. Transmutatation and alchemy are already taking place - it cannot be avoided.
Thanks be heard in the heavens for all the blessed guiding strength I have been given.
Saturday 23 June 2007
Reading - Mabon's Gateway - 21/6/2007
OK - here's my own little trick for readings. I photograph the layout. Then with a print in front of me I find it easier to compare the cards with the layout descriptions. Plus, I can add my commentary directly onto the picture, using it like a mind-map. So, here is the layout of the cards I drew for my Solstice reading:
Just to clarify the picture, the cards were:
1. Stone Four
2. Spear Knight
3. Merlin
4. Sword Maiden
5. Sword Hallow
6. Grail Queen
7. The Green Knight
8. Stone Two
9. Grail Two
10. Grail Four
11. Grail King
The next picture shows the book description for the layout:
This final picture shows my question and my initial thoughts on the reading.
I may add my deeper, reflective feelings about this reading at a later time, but meanwhile, if anyone would like to comment on any aspect, I would be delighted to hear from you.
Just to clarify the picture, the cards were:
1. Stone Four
2. Spear Knight
3. Merlin
4. Sword Maiden
5. Sword Hallow
6. Grail Queen
7. The Green Knight
8. Stone Two
9. Grail Two
10. Grail Four
11. Grail King
The next picture shows the book description for the layout:
This final picture shows my question and my initial thoughts on the reading.
I may add my deeper, reflective feelings about this reading at a later time, but meanwhile, if anyone would like to comment on any aspect, I would be delighted to hear from you.
Inspiration Tarot
Shortly after Sim gave me the Arthurian Tarot he came across a second-hand copy of Inspiration Tarot by Gail Fairfield and Patti Provo (ISBN 0-87728-731-7). This is another workbook and I admit I have a weakness for them (ever the eager scholar yet never graduating!). One is encouraged to actually write and draw in the book - shock! horror! - no teacher ever allows writing in text books do they?
Well, for about 6 years I have carried this around with me through three changes of address and a spell travelling in a caravan. Only last month did I dare to start using this book as it was intended. My first tentative effort was to insert a photocopy of a newspaper photograph that had struck me as a great picture for Strength. Then 3 weeks ago I bravely took some coloured pens and WROTE IN THE BOOK!! (Please don't put me in detention Miss!) I also did a rough pencil sketch for The Lovers as well as in my own journal pasted a copy of an inspirational photo for the same card, with some scrawled edits on it. Now I'm off the start post I see it's not so difficult after all - plus, I have begun to value my own efforts which is key IMO.
Well, for about 6 years I have carried this around with me through three changes of address and a spell travelling in a caravan. Only last month did I dare to start using this book as it was intended. My first tentative effort was to insert a photocopy of a newspaper photograph that had struck me as a great picture for Strength. Then 3 weeks ago I bravely took some coloured pens and WROTE IN THE BOOK!! (Please don't put me in detention Miss!) I also did a rough pencil sketch for The Lovers as well as in my own journal pasted a copy of an inspirational photo for the same card, with some scrawled edits on it. Now I'm off the start post I see it's not so difficult after all - plus, I have begun to value my own efforts which is key IMO.
Solstice ceremony of the Spear Hallow
Of the four seasonal ceremonies laid out in Hallowquest, I have only ever done two of them to my satisfaction. I did the Spring Equinox, Sword ceremony in 2004 and the Spear ceremony on Thursday's Solstice. I need to know that I won't be disturbed and, even living in a quiet place as we do, I am shy that my husband or far worse, someone else, will see me waving Swords (a penknife!) and Spears (a stick!) about chanting to the four directions. I am a novice, solitary witch (self taught) and I'm fairly sure that "bruxas" would not be too welcome in this traditional region of central Portugal. :-o
I judge a tarot session satisfactory when I get a real sense of moving forward, gain a new insight or have one of the cards speak to me like a real person would. On Thursday I got that. During the invocation and visualisation of the Spear Guardian, Arthur aka The Emperor, I asked his advice relating to some personal problems with my chosen lifestyle on our quinta. He told me very simply and directly to do the Mabon's Gateway spread for an answer. This I did later and it was clear and helpful. I will publish the reading in my next post.
I really should be more open and brave with ceremony. I have the ideal place to do it. Immediately behind our home are some beautiful, ancient and friendly rocks and there is a large flat stone, perfect for an altar. On Thursday, as Sim was in the UK leaving me on my own, I got up a daybreak and went for it!
I judge a tarot session satisfactory when I get a real sense of moving forward, gain a new insight or have one of the cards speak to me like a real person would. On Thursday I got that. During the invocation and visualisation of the Spear Guardian, Arthur aka The Emperor, I asked his advice relating to some personal problems with my chosen lifestyle on our quinta. He told me very simply and directly to do the Mabon's Gateway spread for an answer. This I did later and it was clear and helpful. I will publish the reading in my next post.
I really should be more open and brave with ceremony. I have the ideal place to do it. Immediately behind our home are some beautiful, ancient and friendly rocks and there is a large flat stone, perfect for an altar. On Thursday, as Sim was in the UK leaving me on my own, I got up a daybreak and went for it!
First; an introduction
Sometimes people give you a wonderful gift, even though they may not realise it. I have been fortunate to find many people like that throughout my life - some of them have been complete strangers. Sooo..., if you do read this Moonchild (http://www.moonchild.ch), you are one of those special people and this new blog is dedicated to you.
I was given my first tarot set in 2000. It was the Arthurian deck by Caitlin and John Matthews (www.hallowquest.org.uk). I was already using runes, which I was very comfortable with and the I-ching, with which I was less so. I was eager and hungry for a different kind of knowledge and, my lover / now husband, was open to that kind of thing also and knew I was ready for tarot. I've always been impressed that the lady in the shop divined the Arthurian deck for me. Simon initially had chosen the Osho Zen but the shopkeeper was switched on enough to realise that Osho was actually his choice for himself. She asked him to describe me (wish I'd been a fly on the wall ;-] ) and possibly, because I am a died-in-the-wool Celtic, Cornish woman, she selected this deck.
I loved it from the start but wow, was it difficult to get going. I'd struggled to learn 25 runes - how was I every going to understand 78 cards? Then a few months later I was in a new age shop buying some crystals and the Hallowquest, Arthurian Tarot Course ( ISBN 0-7225-3448-5)jumped off the shelf into my hands. This is a very precious book to me and, along with my journals, would be the one I would rush to save from a fire. It's a complete study programme, designed to be followed throughout a calendar year. The fact that 7 years on I am still working through it is no embarrassment to me. The course of study is a big undertaking. It asks some very deep and searching questions and I am not the kind of person that can take this on in one go. Nevertheless, I have never given up on it. Instead, I go with my own rhythmic flow and dip into the study as and when it calls to me.
At the end of last year, something wonderful happened and the tarot suddenly came alive to me. The characters started leaping from the cards and engaging with me directly. I no longer needed the cards in my hands or the book open to gain new insights into this wonderful life tool. I was ready for my second deck - another gift from my husband - The Goddess Tarot by Kris Waldherr (http://www.artandwords.com/goddesses/index.html) and in India we finally purchased the Osho Zen (www.osho.com) for joint use.
Inspired and energised by the entry into summer and the land of the Spears, I am now ready to put my experiences with it into the public domain. Make of it what you will.
I was given my first tarot set in 2000. It was the Arthurian deck by Caitlin and John Matthews (www.hallowquest.org.uk). I was already using runes, which I was very comfortable with and the I-ching, with which I was less so. I was eager and hungry for a different kind of knowledge and, my lover / now husband, was open to that kind of thing also and knew I was ready for tarot. I've always been impressed that the lady in the shop divined the Arthurian deck for me. Simon initially had chosen the Osho Zen but the shopkeeper was switched on enough to realise that Osho was actually his choice for himself. She asked him to describe me (wish I'd been a fly on the wall ;-] ) and possibly, because I am a died-in-the-wool Celtic, Cornish woman, she selected this deck.
I loved it from the start but wow, was it difficult to get going. I'd struggled to learn 25 runes - how was I every going to understand 78 cards? Then a few months later I was in a new age shop buying some crystals and the Hallowquest, Arthurian Tarot Course ( ISBN 0-7225-3448-5)jumped off the shelf into my hands. This is a very precious book to me and, along with my journals, would be the one I would rush to save from a fire. It's a complete study programme, designed to be followed throughout a calendar year. The fact that 7 years on I am still working through it is no embarrassment to me. The course of study is a big undertaking. It asks some very deep and searching questions and I am not the kind of person that can take this on in one go. Nevertheless, I have never given up on it. Instead, I go with my own rhythmic flow and dip into the study as and when it calls to me.
At the end of last year, something wonderful happened and the tarot suddenly came alive to me. The characters started leaping from the cards and engaging with me directly. I no longer needed the cards in my hands or the book open to gain new insights into this wonderful life tool. I was ready for my second deck - another gift from my husband - The Goddess Tarot by Kris Waldherr (http://www.artandwords.com/goddesses/index.html) and in India we finally purchased the Osho Zen (www.osho.com) for joint use.
Inspired and energised by the entry into summer and the land of the Spears, I am now ready to put my experiences with it into the public domain. Make of it what you will.
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